This weekend I broke, I am tired of feeling tired.
I'm tired of feeling fat.
I went on vacation and took with me my summer clothes from last year...they didn't fit.
Yep I got on the ship and the only pants I could wear were the jean capris(that were big last yeat but now fit a little too snug) and my cotton gouchos. Every single pair of shorts I took I couldn't even get buttoned.
I was mad, furious that I had let myself do this yet again. I complain about gaining weight to my husband and he was so sweet but let's face it. I couldn't get the dang shorts buttoned, I had gained, I'm right back to where I was before. There is no denying that.
Counting calories doesn't work for me.
Counting fat or carbs doesn't work.
Eating what I want but cutting portions doesn't work.
Am I ever going to find something that works? I hope so.
So on friday I broke and I let her bring me lunch...with total intent of hating it but wth, I'll give it a try!
My lunch consisted of Dark Chocolate Almond Milk. Sweet Potato, Spaghetti Squash, ground Venison, garlic salt, avacodo and tomatoes.
It was delectible!
I was still unsure about this whole Paleo thing though...cutting out all dairy? I'm a huge milk and yogurt LOVER How was I going to do this?
I sat down started going through recipes picked out a few that sounded good an that I had most of the ingredients already and this weekend I Paleo'd it up at my house.
Now I am not no where near 100% seeing as how I ate two small yeast rolls sat and sunday but I am slowly getting there. As of now I have cut out all dairy...I even had fresh local honey and almond milk in my coffee this morning...This crap is getting real up in here when I change up my coffee!
Now onto the scary part. I want to share with you all myself. I'm not perfect nor have I ever claimed to be. I am an extremely critical person of myself. Not so much with others but oh horrible with myself but I also love my bikinis and so in saying that I even wore a whole piece almost the entire vacation because of my insecurities.
This blog has been a great place for me to really just be myself and grow as a christian while sharing my struggles and praises with you all. I have received some judgement from it but I guess when you put yourself out there you should expect it at some point.
This next part though is very difficult for me. It is opening myself up to a whole new line of judgement.
Honestly it scares the life out of me just thinking about it but I need to do it. For myself and for you. To hold myself accountable and to show you that I struggle just the same as some of you.
I do ask though that you would keep all negative comments to yourself and if you are going to come to this sight to be judgmental please do not return. This is me being vunerable...don't make me regret it please.
My measurements for the beginning of my Paleo Journey is: (these might get altered bc I forgot my paper)
Arms- 18 3/4
So there you have it. It is me...def not at my best but hoping to overcome and make my body into a temple to be used to serve God's purpose. He gave me this gift of life so who am I to trash it with terrible food and lack of exercise?
I will start posting some of the recipes I am trying out as well and let you know what I think about them! You can also follow me on Instagram @sweetsouthernmel where I will be picturing most of my food!