Raise your hand if on a daily basis you feel like you just won the award for "Worst Mom of the Year"
Raise your hand if you have been around another adult and you plead with God "Please don't ever let me child speak like that or act like that as an adult"
Ok you all can put your hands down now. We have all been there and it seems like lately it has been revealed to me even more how important it is for my children to have certain mannerisms as adults.
No one is perfect and I surely don't expect my children to be but I recall once standing in someone's home as someone repeated to us that in a heated arguement they told a family member "I hope you get in a wreck and die on your way home" this person also had a small child with them.
At that moment in time I realized how important "MY" influence was on my children. But not only my influence but the influence of "WHO" I put my children around.
After pondering this question for quite some time this is what I have come up with.
10 Mannerisms I Will Teach My Children
1) Always THINK before you speak. Ask yourself "Is this really necessary?" So often hurtful things are said because someone doesn't "think" about the consequences of their words. Yes I 100% believe there are consequences to our words. Words can NEVER be Unsaid. Also in this day and time so may things are not "said" but they are typed. Through social media and texts. This is hard because someone might not be able to tell your "attitude" behind the text. If you are texting with someone always REREAD your message and think about it as if you are the person receiving it and how you would take it. ALWAYS be sure your words are kind and NEVER hide HATEFUL words with a smiley face and think that covers up your deceit.
2) Be RESPECTFUL of others PROPERTY. Accidents happen but it burns me up to see another child viciously play with a toy that is not theirs and just destroy it without consequence. If my children learn at a young age to treat others' property with respect then hopefully as teenagers and young adults they will veer away from the acts of Egging cars/homes, Vandelization (that is a Mel's vocab special) and purposeful property damage.
3) Do not HATE nothing or no one. The word hate is not a part of our vocabulary nor will it ever be in our home. One of my brothers old girl friends used to say "I hate you" in this little playful joking way....it drove me and my parents bonkers!! I couldn't stand listening to her talk to him because even though she didn't mean those words they still sounded AWFUL coming from her mouth. Much less the fact that the bigger sister part of me wanted to punch her in the face every time she said it to my "baby brother". Shew thank goodness he grew up and realized that she was about as coo coo for cocoa puffs as they came. Fact is that if we don't say it now they are less likely to say it and hopefully they will stay away from such strong mean feelings. I never want their hearts to be hardened with hate.
4) Do not be a RUMOR WEED. *anyone catch that veggie tales reference?* If you didn't see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears then don't repeat it. Nobody likes a Gabby Gracie...period.
5) RESPECT YOUR OWN BODY. Oh my, has this went by the wayside the past 15-20years or what? This doesn't just apply to sex, this now applies to drugs, alcohol, food, etc. Our body is a temple that was given to us by God and I want my children to have enough respect for themselves that before they act they give true thought to how their decisions will affect their body. As parents we want to shield them from the cold hard ugly truth of what some of these things can do but if we don't show them what consequences look like then how will they know what they having coming if they make these decisions? Herpes, warts, IV Tracts, Meth Sores, Cirrhosis, Morbid Obesity. Mine will know what all of these look like at a young age. They will NEVER be able to say "I didn't know".
6) I do not want them to FEAR the DISABLED. As my son has gotten older he has asked questions, very vocally I might add, about children in wheel chairs or someone who walks or talks "different". I have tried my very best to answer him in a very open honest way. I do not want him to fear those people but be willing to offer a helpful hand if needed. I want to teach them that we all have different struggles and we should be thankful everyday for the health and abilities that God has given us.
7) The PAST is the PAST. As a parent I think this is one that we have a lot of control over. Once a child has done something, been disciplined and paid the consequence, then it is done and over. No need to bring up their past mistakes when they have already moved on. There is no quicker way to bring a child down then to remind them of all the times they have failed. I also know that as adults we will fail daily and we don't like it when it gets thrown up in our face. But how are we to blame the adult if they were never shown to forgive and forget? God has wiped my sins away and will continue to do so and I want my children to be able to look past others failures and point out the good in them.
8) DO NOT BRAG about what you have. Be Thankful but keep it to yourself.
10) LOVE and when you love, LOVE with ALL YOUR HEART. Heartbreak hurts and in life you will be hurt by family, friends, bf/gf but with pain comes healing. The feeling you have when you LOVE with all your heart is greater than the pain and you will always remember the love and the pain will slowly ease.
So there are thousands of things I want to teach my children and I hope that my everyday actions teach them more then my words can but these few things I think often get over looked. We are not born as cynical, hateful, unforgiving people. We are born innocent babies and are taught by those who we are surrounded by the most. If we as parents are cautious of our own actions then we will raise a generation to be proud of.
We fear the future of our country and what our children and grandchildren will be exposed to but truth is WE are raising the future and it is in our hands now to start molding them to be the Change the future needs.
Happy Monday Ya'll!