Monday, November 25, 2013

Why I Didn't Give Thanks

We all know that Facebook is a "highlight reel" for most people, then there are those few that use it as a "complaint" reel and then the others who choose to have diarrhea of the fingers....I guess that the best way to out it. You know every little detail about their life including the time they had their poop of the day and the color and know you have one or fifty of those "friends" on Facebook. 

if you choose to overlook all of that nonsense you then have the people who watch you like a hawk, ready to bring up, at any given moment, a comment or post you made. Those who want to make themselves feel better so they beat you down in the process. 

I will be the first to admit I have fallen into many of these categories at various times. I have posted a little more than I should, I have bragged about my kiddos from time to time, I have taken another post personal when in no way, shape or form was it directed at me. We have all done it and how does it leave us feeling? Guilty, sad, hurt, angery? You name it and I have felt it...all from a social media site.

At the beginning of 2013 part of my resolution was to simplify. I am very Type A. I like for things to be in order, I like to have a plan. I like to know ahead of time what the schedule will be. Right now some of our Christmas plans are still uncertain and to be's driving me bonkers. My house has to be picked up, (not necessarily clean but more in order), I have to have plenty of toilet paper and at all times my house must be guest ready. I am a people pleaser and although I can be quite direct and to the point, there are lots of times I don't say No when I should. I don't like to tell people no, even when it bothers me or quite frankly I just don't have the time I find myself still saying yes.

Since having children this has gotten worse. There were times that I could say no for myself but saying no to parties, play dates, movies, putt putt, etc became a lot harder once my babies arrived. We all want out children to have that childhood to remember but even more so with being a working mom do I want to make up for the things I can't do due to having to be at work. 

To get my priorities in line I had to make a plan (see Tupe A coming out). God first then my husband, my children, then myself. Yep I am putting myself into the mix because I have learned that if I am not happy with myself it's hard for me to perform graciously the others jobs I have. 

In putting myself into the equation I had to really evaluate my life. Look at the friends I had, the activities I participate in, the activities that my children enjoy doing and what works beat for the hubs and I. Then try to balance it all out without wearing myself down or getting my stress level so high that was an uncles ants person in the process. 

One thing I cut out was Pinterest......OMG WHAT????

Yep I cut about 90% of it out. I still use it to refer back to recipes and crafts I planned but this year I did not let hours upon hours staring at Pinterest consume me.  It only to left me feeling completely inadequate as a wife, mother, Christian, homemaker, chef, party get the picture. 

There have been countless articles and blogpost written on the subject of Pinterest Moms so I'm not going there just preparing my point. 

Even after I gave that up there was still the Facebook highlight reel to contend with. I ended up parting was with some people on Facebook and in real life. It was the best decision for my walk with God and my family and again...myself personally. I was on a mission to be happy and content with everything that God has given me. 

Over the past couple months I have really tested my ability to say no. 

"No I'm sorry I can't do that party, I just don't have the time to take away from my children"

"No we aren't aren't going to make it because we have other plans"

"No I'm not going to rush to the store because I forgot about starting the "Boo our neighbors" tradition tomorrow" (this was huge for me because I have done it every year for the past 3yrs and I forgot til the last minute)

"No my husband and I have date night"

"No I promised my kids family movie night" 

Now I haven't said no to everything but enough to relieve some of the stress. 

So with all that being said November 1st rolled around and here I was staring into the abyss of everyone's thankfulness. 

I will be the first to shout praises to my magnificent God for all the things and people he has blessed me with. For the ways that he took care of me and my family, for how he carried us through some dark times and celebrated with us in times of joys. He has caught my tears and been there for me while I was learning to say No more often. I truly am Thankful for ALL things and people in my life...I'm even thankful for Facebook... Yep it keeps me in contact with my family who lives out of town and allows them to see pictures and videos of my babies that they otherwise might miss.

But did I have to write it out?? Did I have to proclaim everyday the certain members of my family I am thankful for any why? What about the others, the aunts, uncles and cousin, will they think I love them less if they aren't mentioned by name? Will I be less of a Christian if I don't give thanks to the One God who sent his son to die for me on day 1? Will my parents feel less loved if they fall to days 5&6? What if I say I'm thankful for my Starbucks, will I be labeled materialistic? What if I'm thankful for the love I have for working out and running...will I be vein?  

Then what if I forget a day?? And again the next day? Does it show that I am so busy with day to day life that I can't even remember to be Thankful? What a terrible person I am to forget to be thankful. 

These are all thoughts that have ran through my head in years past of Facebook thankfulness so this year I did it...I didn't give Thanks...on Facebook. Instead I have been trying to remember to tell others that I am thankful for them. My husband knows (because I have told him countless items) I couldn't do this life without him. My children get told everyday how much I love them and how blessed I am to be their mommy. I have tried to show thankfulness to neighbors, friends, extended family and strangers. Some I haven't gotten to yet but I will, eventually. 

I do enjoy reading some of the thankful posts. I think it's great to see others giving praise and thanks to God for his great mercies but as a mom trying to keep up with the Jones' of Facebook just became too much. I will not allow myself to question my ability to love, give thanks, parent or be a good spouse because I can't keep up with yet another Facebook game.  

It's almost the end of November and I am thankful for a month of LESS STRESS! :) 

PS please no more "Ill give you a number" games! I thought I was going to claw my eyes out and honestly there's some stuff that is better left unsai-err untyped.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all 



  1. So so perfect, Mel! I totally am there with you. Really great post. I am glad you are taking time to put what is most important, first!

  2. All I have to say is: AMEN, sister. Seriously EXACTLY how I felt when I started seeing those pop up on FB at the beginning of the month.